The Science of L.O.V.E

The Science of Love

By: Jessie Anak Limbang

            When do you know if you fancy someone? And why do you feel like your heart is pumping so fast when you see that someone? This is what we called falling in love. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so have love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. According to the Bible, love is patient, love is kind, and it has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. In one of Dr. John Gray's audio cassettes he defines love as a feeling directed at someone which acknowledges their goodness.

            Falling in love is a magical experience that happens between two people. With an irresistible cocktail of chemicals, our brain entices us to fall in love. We believe we are choosing a partner, but we may merely be the happy victims of nature’s lovely plan. Psychologists have shown it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you fancy someone. Research has shown this has little to do with what is said, rather 55% is through body language, 38% is the tone and speed of their voice and only 7% is through what they say.  Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly overlapping stages that are lust, attraction, and attachment. 

            For the lust stage, this is when the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Simply said, this is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen that happen in both men and women. For instance, when you are falling in love with someone, automatically your brain will stimulate to release both of the chemicals and these chemical will contributes to an active sexual drive in your body. That is the reason why you will feel uncomfortable.

            At the second stage of love that is attraction, this is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage that is adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin. At the initial stages of falling for someone, you body will activates your stress response and then increasing your blood levels of adrenalin. This has the charming affect that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth go dry. Beside that, Helen Fisher has discovered that the newly ‘love struck’ couples have high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine. This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. Finally, when serotonin is released, it is one of love's most important chemicals that may explain why when you’re falling in love and your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts. Meaning to say, this chemicals will stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.

The last stage of love is attachment. The attachment is the bond that keeps couples together longs enough for them to have and raise children. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment that are oxytocin and vasopressin. Oxytocin is a hormone released by men and women during orgasm. It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes. Vasopressin is another important hormone in the long-term commitment stage and is released after sex. Its potential role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole. So, attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests.

As a conclusion, love is obviously a wonderful feeling that everyone should experience. If you have ever to fallen in love, then you know that you can feel whether happy or miserable. If you don't take the chance then you will never know how a loving feeling feels. For those who have found their true love, hold on tight to it. Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need, and surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.

p/s: hehe masa nie tengah jiwang2... hadoi pun...... simple things he do to me, made my whole day sparkling... hahaa lol :)